Getting adjusted

I've been trying to adjust to being a mom of 3 now. I'm also adjusting to being a breastfeeding mom since it's the first time I've ever breastfed. With Kayliana, I never started or tried or even really gave it a thought since I was working full time and didn't want to have to mess with pumping while at work and stuff. With Addison, I guess because I didn't do it with Kayliana it didn't even cross my mind with her. Being a stay at home mom and getting to know other parents and their parenting style you really do learn a lot of wonderful things. If it weren't for some of the people I've met on message boards there would be very little that I knew. For one, I'd never had known that I was practicing attachment parenting from Day 1 with Kayliana. My attachment parenting style has just evolved into being just a co-sleeper with my first, a co-sleeper and baby-wearer with my 2nd, and now a co-sleeper, baby-wearer, breastfeeding and cloth diapering mom with my 3rd.

Anyways, my biggest adjustment has been the breastfeeding. If anyone tells you it's easy and it isn't painful then they are just big fat liars! It HURTS really bad while you are getting used to it all. Outside of the pain, I'm just having trouble making sure that Tristan gets an adequate amount. We had our doctors appointment on Tuesday, June 23rd for Tristan. He is pretty jaundice and because of it, is sleeping a lot. I'm supposed to be nursing him every 2 to 3hrs but he wants to nurse every 4hrs instead. Waking him up like I've been told is practically impossible. He's lost nearly 10% weight loss from the day he was born, and the doctor was sure to make me feel like a horrible mother for it. Tristan wasn't doing what the doctors like to see. The day we left the hospital, he was circumcised and he didn't eat alot that day so I think because of that we were about a day or two off schedule. Things APPEAR to be better today and I'm hoping that tomorrow will be even better. Ofcourse, I wont know for sure until we have another doctors appointment and check out his weight. He is supposed to be back up to his birth weight by 2 weeks of age. But, we went from 7lbs 1oz to 6lbs 7oz so he has quite a bit of weight to catch back up on! I'm just hoping that breastfeeding doesn't fail us and my lil man starts to gain weight.

Addison still will not touch or get near Tristan. Though, she definitely cares for him from afar. At the doctors office when he was crying she kept watching him and the doctor to make sure he was okay. I have a beanbag I've been using to put Tristan out by our front door where the sun shines through to help with his jaundice and Kayliana was playing with it and Addison had a huge fit and screamed and told Kayliana that it was the baby's. I really hope she warms up to him soon. I'm a little bummed when it comes to Addison though. She's been clinging to Willie a lot lately. She's momma's girl so it's tough for me. I try to help her and do things for her but she tells me "No, Daddy will help me." I did manage to get her to cuddle with me tonight though before she fell asleep, and that was nice. I miss my cuddle times with her.

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